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    puttin you so far back in the pen it d cost you eight
    dollars to send a postcard out to the front gate. When
    they re-elected me six years ago, and then again two
    years ago, I promised  em the same thing. They knew I
    was honestly tryin , and they believed me. They had
    patience, because they knew what I was up against.
     I m still tryin . And some day I m going to do it. Some
    day I m going to get enough evidence on you to send you
    up the river so far your grandchildren will be old men
    when you get back, and we can hold up our heads around
    here and look the rest of the state in the face.
     Sometimes I m tempted to quit, to just throw up the
    job and sell my home and go somewhere else and start
    over, but then I get to thinkin about all the other poor
    people in this county who d have to stay here and go on
    putting up with you because they can t sell out and leave,
    so I stick it out and keep trying. It s an obligation, I
    reckon. I just can t abandon all these defenseless people
    to you.
     It ain t just a job. It s gone beyond that. I
    ent into the Treasurer s office the other day nd told  em
    they didn t have to issue my pay-checks any more till I
    freed the county of you, and that if the people didn t re-
    elect me two years from this fall I d go on servin for
    nothing, right along with the new sheriff, till we got the
    The Diamond Bikini  49
    evidence on you to put you away and we wouldn t be
    ashamed to bring innocent children into a world where
    you was running around loose.
     And now that I find out there ain t only you, that
    there s two of you here on this one farm with decent,
    God-fearin people livin all around you, I m almost
    tempted to call the Governor and have him declare
    martial law. There must be something on the statute
    books to protect the citizens from you without havin to
    go to court with evidence of any one particular crime.
     It s like I was tellin you, Sam, Uncle Sagamore says.
     This shurf is a real fine man, aside from being a little
    inclined to get all het up over triflin little things that
    don t amount to a hill of beans. Reckon he s got the high
    blood pressure. An then, too, it must be kind of trying,
    havin your men sneakin around Pokin beans up their
    noses when you ain t lookin .
    No, Pop says.  They wasn t poking beans up their
    nose. They were drinking croton oil remember?
     Oh, sure, Uncle Sagamore says.  It was croton oil,
    wasn t it?
    The sheriff brought both hands up and rubbed  em
    across his face, and he didn t say anything for a minute.
    He breathed kind of slow and heavy, but when he took
    his hands away he was still quiet.
     While I m out here, he says to Uncle Sagamore,  I m
    going to have a look in your barn. We been gettin
    reports from various towns that you been doing a little
    shopping here and there.
     Why, sure, Shurf, Uncle Sagamore says.  Help
    yourself, I m always kind of proud when I done a little
    shopping. The way I see it, it shows good management
    when a man can have a little money left over to buy
    something for hisself after he s fed all the goddam
    politicians he s got lyin in his lap.
     Come on! the sheriff says, real cold.
    The barn was made out of logs, with split shingles for a
    roof. Inside there was some stalls for the mules. It was
    kind of dim, and smelled nice, just like the stables at a
    race track. In one corner there was a corncrib with a
    little door made out of planks.
    The Diamond Bikini  50
    We all stopped, and the sheriff went over and opened
    the corncrib door,  Well, well, he says, Ebbing his hands
    together.  Just like I thought.
    I couldn t see past him very well, but it looked like a lot
    of sacks of something or other piled up five or six feet
    high.
     Sure is a lot of awful sweet mule feed, the sheriff
    says. He started counting, pointing with his finger and
    moving his lips. Uncle Sagamore leaned against the wall
    and sailed out some tobacco juice.
    The sheriff finished counting. He turned around and
    looked at Uncle Sagamore, and he seemed to feel a lot
    better.  Ninety sacks, he says.  That s about the way we
    heard it. That was quite a little shopping you did, here
    and there.
     Well, you know how it is, Uncle Sagamore says.  A
    man s workin eighteen, twenty hours a day, he don t get
    to town very often.
     You mind lettin me know what you re aiming to do
    with all of it? the sheriff asked.  Stories like that
    interest me.
     Why, no. Not at all, Shurf, Uncle Sagamore says.
     You see, when Sam here wrote me he was comin to visit
    a spell this summer and was bringin his boy, I figured I
    ort to lay in a little sweetnin . You know how boys is.
    They got a sweet tooth.
     Nine thousand pounds of sugar? the sheriff asked.
     They must figure on staying several weeks. Ain t you
    afraid that much d be bad for his teeth?
    Uncle Sagamore snapped his fingers.  Well sir, he
    says,  you know, I never thought of that.
    The sheriff s face started to get purple again.
    Uncle Sagamore shook his head, kind of sad.  Imagine
    that, he says.  Sure looks like the joke s on me, buyin
    all that sugar for nothin .
    The Diamond Bikini  51
    Six
    We walked back to the car. The sheriff opened the door
    and started to get in.  Well, you just go right ahead bein
    smart, Sagamore Noonan, he says.  Sooner or later
    you re going to laugh on the other side of your face. It s
    here on this land, and we re goin to find it. It ain t goin
    to be so funny then.
     Why, did you lose something, Shurf? Uncle Sagamore
    asked.  You should have told me. Anyway, me an Sam
    can help, you just let us know. And don t you fret none
    about us tellin anybody your men s started drinkin
    croton oil. You can depend on us.
    The sheriff said a bad cuss word and got in and
    slammed the door. The car jumped ahead and made a big
    turn and then went bucking up the hill. It seemed like
    him and his men was always in a hurry. I thought it
    wasn t any wonder they kept running over Mr Jimerson s
    hogs.
    I wondered why Uncle Sagamore had bought all that
    sugar, but I figured there wasn t any use asking him.
    Maybe I could ask Pop about it later. He might know. But
    I was sure he hadn t bought it on account of us, like he
    told the sheriff, because he didn t even know we was
    coming until we d got there.
    Uncle Sagamore looked up the hill to where you could
    just see Dr Severance s trailer in the edge of the trees.
    Pop remembered then that what with that excitable
    sheriff talking so much he d forgot to tell Uncle
    Sagamore about it. So he told him.
     Well, is that a fact? A hundred and twenty a month,
    Uncle Sagamore says, aiming some tobacco juice at a
    grasshopper about ten feet away on the sand. He missed
    him a couple inches. The grasshopper went away,
    buzzing. Got the anaemia, has she?
     That s right, Pop says.  She has to eat vegetables.
    The Diamond Bikini  52
     Well sir, that s a shame, Uncle Sagamore says.  A
    young girl, and all.
     By the way, have we got any vegetables? Pop asked. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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