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strength. Now he was like a ship without a rudder, drifting without a direction. He'd worked for years
to build Lariat into a successful ranch, mostly so that he'd have it to offer to Bess, if he could come to
grips with the differences between them. There hadn't really been another woman in his heart, even if
he'd known a few women over the years, including the divorcee whose attractions had momentarily
dazzled him. And that physical attraction had only lasted as far as her bedroom. He'd seen the
hardness under the beauty, and it had repelled him, along with her attitude toward sex. She liked three
in a bed, but Cade only wanted two. It hadn't even bothered him when she left. Cade glanced
impatiently toward the nurses' station. He'd smoked a pack of cigarettes already, and he knew he was
going to have to stop or he'd cough himself to death. But it was that or a quart of straight Kentucky
bourbon, and he couldn't climb into a bottle, even if his heart was breaking in two. He sighed wearily
as he looked out the window. He hadn't told the others exactly how the accident hap- pened because it
hurt too much to admit it had been his fault. He didn't think he could live with himself if she was
crippled. There had been some internal damage, the doctor had said after a preliminary examination,
and a good deal of bleeding, but she'd most likely recover. Cade hadn't half-heard him; he was trying
to force an assurance from the doctor that she'd live. "Excuse me . . ." He turned to find a nurse
watching him. She smiled gently. "She's calling for someone named Cade. Would that be you?" His
heart almost burst. She was calling for him! For the first time since the accident he was able to hope.
"Yes." He quickly put the cigarette out in the ashtray and followed the nurse into the intensive care
unit, and then to the small cubicle where Bess was hooked up to all kinds of humming, buzzing,
beeping machinery. There was an oxygen tube taped in her noseto replace the one he'd seen in her
mouth earlier. She was pale and there were bruises on her cheek, but her eyes were open. "Bess!" he
whispered huskily. "How are you, honey?" I must be dead, she thought dizzily. Here was Cade
looking like his world had almost ended and calling her honey. "Cade?" she whispered. "I'm here," he
said, almost choking on the emotion welling up in him. "Two minutes," the nurse said gently. "We
musn't tire her." He nodded and moved closer to Bess, touching her bruised cheek with his hand. "I'm
sorry," he whis- pered. "Oh, God, honey, I'm so sorry . . . !" Definitely dead, she was telling, herself,
or dreaming. She managed to lift one hand and put it against his lean, dark cheek. "I'm okay," she
whispered. She could hardly see him, because she was full of drugs. "Cade, I'll be okay. I don't . . .
blame you." And that hurt most of all, that her first concern was for his feelings and not her own pain.
He felt tears stinging his eyes and he hated his weakness almost as much as he blamed himself. He
knew his face was giving him away, but he couldn't contain the guilt and fear that were raging in his
mind. He brought her hand, palm up, to his mouth and kissed it. She curled her fingers into his and
gripped hard. "Am I dead?" she whispered, her eyelids drooping. "You're . . . my world, Cade. ..."
She was asleep again. Her hand slid away from his face and he clasped it tight in both of his and bent
to brush his mouth so carefully over her dry lips. "You're my world, too, little one," he whispered
brokenly. "For God's sake, don't die!" But she didn't hear him. Not consciously. She drifted in and out
for the rest of the day, aware of her mother's voice and Cade's between vivid, disturbing dreams.
Cade kept Gussie and his mother going, his own strength bolstering theirs. He still hadn't talked about
how the accident had happened, and although Gussie and Elise knew that he'd somehow been
involved, Gussie let it all slide after Bess was out of grave danger. But Elise was worried. Cade
wasn't acting like himself, and she knew something was bothering him. He'd admitted that he'd gone to
see Bess, but he was holding something back, something that was still tormenting him. While Gussie
was visiting Bess, Elise had Cade buy her a cup of coffee in the hospital coffee shop and found a
corner table where they could sit and talk. Outside in the hall, visitors and medical personnel walked [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
