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advice from a medical textbook or a very trusted friend with a medical
background, then prepare a series of embarrassing lab reports for your mark.
This could include positive identification of such problems as venereal
disease, drug dependence, cancer, yeast infection, or mental illness.
The mailing of the bogus report must be coordinated with a telephone
call to the mark's spouse, employer, parents, parole officer, etc. Doctor Milo
Weir, who helped with this idea, recommends that multiple copies of the
diagnostic report copy could be sent to public-health officials, and a drug-
problem might go to the state narcotics bureau.
If you're waiting in a doctor's examining room you will probably see
all sorts of goodies stacked around -- syringes, common drugs, medical
equipment, maybe a diploma or two. A couple of Yippies said they used to
make appointments complaining of vague symptoms just so the could rip off
goodies. Beyond simple pilferage, the opportunity exists here for introducing
additives to various products.
This should tickle the fancy of those true sadists among you. It comes
from the Olde Medical Almanak of Doctor Jerrold Andurson. He removes
some of the Preparation H from the regular container and refills that with
tabasco sauce. Andurson guarantees that this will give your hemorrhoidal
mark one of the hottest seats she/he could feel.
Andurson adds, "That reminds me of the observation made by the
man who caught his genitalia in a bear trap. He said that the second worst
pain in his life came when he came to the end of the trap's chain."
One summer, Will Gressle had the misfortune to be incarcerated in a
hospital wing run by a nurse who made Doctor Josef Mengele seem like
Santa Claus. An easygoing sort, Gressle was driven to revenge by this nasty
Brigadier of Bedpans. Here's what he did about it.
"In late November I was visiting my uncle's ranch in Idaho, where he
raises a few sheep. I got about seven pounds of farm-fresh sheep droppings
and put it carefully in an opaque, airtight plastic sack," he relates.
"I put that in a box, wrapped it in bright Christmas paper, and stuck
little happy-face and Christmas decals all over it. Then I wrapped all that in
heavy brown paper and mailed it to the nurse, in care of the hospital. I put a
fake return address on the package and a few holiday stickers on the outside,
too.
"I'm sure the parcel arrived at the hospital, where they have a little
tree in each wing and a small exchange of presents. It is my sincere hope
that Nurse Nasty unwrapped my gift in front of a lot of nurses, doctors, and
patients. She would finally get to the bag of sheep shit and a little note,
which read, 'Just returning a tiny little bit of what you are so fond of dishing
out in great amount,' signed, 'A Former Inmate.'"
Considering that the major side effect of medical treatment these days
is terminal bankruptcy, it is little wonder that the medical institutions and
personnel have become the target of so much getting-even thinking. In
speaking with people on both sides of this fight, I have concluded that there
are only limited stunts you can direct against these specific targets. Yet the
range of regular stunts presented in a dozen other chapters of this book are
as effective against medical institutions and people as against any other
subject -- perhaps more so, given the self-held exalted status of the medical
community.
For example, it's one thing if your mark is a contractor and suffers
from a venereal disease because of your getting even -- but think how it
would work for a doctor! Gossip travels fast in the medical corridors.
However, if you are thirsting for a few little goodies to toss at the
medical community, here's a mini-list of suggestions:
" Leave dead vermin at strategic points of a particular medical facility --
near the coffee shop, the kitchen, the emergency room, the visitor's
lounge, etc.
" Dressed in whites or other appropriate uniform, slip in with cafeteria
or kitchen help and put some harmless food coloring into foods. Or if
you can get in to where the staff food is prepared, more powerful [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
