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She may resent my closeness to him. But I'm sure this is completely foreign to you."
Did Fidelio hunch over, as if defensive? "Have you not understood? We want this kind of thing not to
be foreign to us."
"Well, yes -- " Caitlin stammered. "I suppose- I've heard- It's stunningly strange, but -- " Tears
glimmered forth, though they did not go past her lashes. "What you hoped would be an opening to love
has become one to hatred and dread. Oh, my poor dear!"
She rallied. "We're bound for what's better," she said. "Dan Brodersen will see to that. Meanwhile, it
would be wise if you come to know humans besides the few who went to your planet. We do differ very
much. Surely some among us can help you. Also, getting acquainted will lift everyone's minds off the loss
we've suffered and the desperate action a few days hence." Again she took hold of him, this time by the
hands, since he had reached those out. "Let me be your guide. I can interpret, yes, and arrange small
get-togethers and try to keep things cheery. We all need that."
"Many thanks," he replied. "You are kind."
Still he stood bent, and his words came mechanical. Caitlin observed him closely, against the
unpitying stars. "You were glad for a moment," she murmured at last, "but that has fled you."
He made a noise that might correspond to a sigh. "It is nothing you can do anything about, senorita.
And, if we win free, it will soon be cured."
"Do you care to tell me what?"
"I am a holothete, like Joelle Ky, and long out of the...the state of communion. You have heard it
becomes vital to us, or at least to our happiness." Fidelio lifted his head. "No matter. It is no worse for
me than for her."
"But you are among aliens!" Caitlin cried. "And we have the equipment aboard, but it could not fit
you, could it? Why, you must be miserable!"
She flung herself against the massive, warm body and hugged him. He touched her in shy response.
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"Listen, Fidelio," she said when they separated, "you've the spirit to see brooding is useless. You can
set your trouble aside for a bit. You were doing so when we got interrupted. Let's go back to where we
were then. Music. You'd like to hear our songs, and I'd be overjoyed to hear yours." Briskly: "Now I
must prepare the food, but there's no reason why we can't be singing the while."
He stirred, straightening. Life returned to his voice. "Yes, please, let us. Could I assist you in your
work?"
For the first time since they left the Wheel, she laughed.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Oh...thank you...Maybe you could carry a few things. But I was remembering a primitive cottage in
Ireland, and seeing you at the kitchen sink wielding a dish towel."
As if a weight had fallen off her, Caitlin danced toward the galley. While she did, she commenced his
education.
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
Ya no quiere caminar- "Ah." Frieda von Moltke's breath came warm and musky.
"That was good. You are very good."
Martti Leino opened his eyes to the round, wide-nosed, fullmouthed countenance below his. He was
not tall; she was; she had readily been able to kiss him on his lips and inside them till it began to crest in
her. Then she roared, and it was like riding an earthquake. Her arms and thighs still clasped him. Sweat
glued strands of yellow hair to the slightly florid brow and cheeks; he felt the same moisture against his
belly.
"You too," he said. "I had fun, and I surely needed some. Thank you."
She laughed. "We are not done yet, my friend. Howeffer, what about a beer first? And do you mind
if I smoke?"
"No. I don't myself, but no." He rolled off her and propped himself on his pillow at the headboard.
Her feet smacked the deck. She was heavy; not fat, save for the huge breasts; solid. Crossing her cabin,
she took a cheroot from a box -- the ship was stocked for a variety of minor vices -- and put it between
her teeth before she dealt with the bottles.
Returning, she paused at the bedside. Her regard of him grew speculative. "Martti," she asked, "why
did you close your eyes after we began?"
He moved them from her. "Habit," he mumbled.
"I think not. We could haff turned the lights off if you wanted. You were using effery sense, until- Did
you decide to pretend I was somebody else?"
"Please!"
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"Oh, I am not offended if so. We are not in luff. I don't want to pry, either. I am just curious."
He kept silent. She handed him a flask, which chill had already bedewed, and lit her tobacco. Smoke
eddied acrid. She joined him, sitting up, flank against flank.
"I like you much, I belieff, Martti," she told him. Slyly: "I expect you will compare well with your
shipmates. Stefan Dozsa is nice but- hasty? Maybe not promising. I am not sure of making the other two
at all. Weisenberg acts thoroughly married when we talk, and Brodersen has his mistress, who is far
prettier than me."
Leino scowled. "Yes, he does."
Once more Frieda's gaze grew thoughtful. "She is a delightful person. Gifted; she was singing a few of
her own songs while she took measurements to make me some decent clothes. And she runs a splendid
galley. And seems to handle the rest of the quartermaster job well. What else?"
"I can't say." Leino spoke fast "I haven't known her long. Yes, she is quite a girl." Abruptly, twisting
about to confront her: "Tell me about yourself, Frieda. Everybody's been lost in talking about Beta and
Earth politics and things like that. Now we have hardly any time left before- Well, what has your life
been?"
The gunner shrugged and blew a smoke ring. "I haff knocked around."
"Tell me."
"If you will then tell me your story."
"Mine isn't much," Leino said. "I'm such a young fellow- I'm beginning to find out how young- You've
seen more."
She collected bottle and cigar in her right hand, that the left might rumple his hair. "You are cute,
Martti."
Relaxing into her pillow: "Well, an outline, if you want. I was born in East Prussia thirty years ago,
except for me it has been thirty-eight. My family was not rich, but we remembered across a couple of
centuries we had been Junkers, and later furnished officers for the Soviet Empire, and after it broke up-
Ach, the mansion our ancestors owned was in sight of our home. My father was a guerrilla in the
Troubles. I joined the Freiheit Jugend; we neffer had to fight, but we held us ready. At last I took a
Wander Jahr before I enlisted in the Peace Command. They gave me space training. When Emissary
began to recruit, I applied and was accepted."
"Not exactly a homebody, you," Leino said.
Wistfulness flitted over her. "I would like to marry, and get my immunity refersed, to haff children
while my parents can still enjoy being grandparents. If they are alife...and we may be headed into death
ourselfs."
"Yes, it's hard waiting helpless, isn't it?"
"Oh, that is the usual fate of humans. You wait for the medical lab results or the jury's verdict or how
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the next shell will fall on a battlefield or- whateffer." Frieda sucked her cheroot into an Aldebaran redness
at its end. "What is terrible here is, we may be mankind's last chance of truly reaching the stars. Our
enemies will not stop if they wipe us out, spurlos versenkt. They will fear the Betans or somebody might
come, and for that reason work to get control, until they can openly put weapons at the Sol and Phoebus
T machines for keeping a hermit kingdom. It is too possible. My folk remember the Soviets."
"Unless the Others intervene," Leino said. "Is that altogether a daydream? Did you get the least clue
in Emissary?" [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
